Have you ever pretended to be something you're not not?
Many of us will say no in front of other people but deep down, in our hearts we know it is true and that there have been countless events when we have lied about being happy when we've been dying inside or pretended to be sad when nothing really happened... Or other emotions masked by a layer of artificial ones.
I'd say these are our coping mechanisms when we want to avoid unwanted communication. And believe me, there are times when you just want to be with nobody but yourself for days.
So how is this different from when we are under the influence of alcohol. I smile, laugh and dance like there's no tomorrow whenever i'm even a tiny bit tipsy because alcohol takes me to a better place. Where all my problems seem little and there is nothing more important than 'me'.
It's a place where everything is like a dream - a perfect dream of a perfect life.
It's not like we can be under the influence of alcohol 24*7 and I wouldn't even want to be... So now that I wonder, why can't I simulate such thoughts in their originality when I am completely sober and in all my senses.
Another part of me tells me it's not right to believe in things that are not true. But then what if this is the truth and I have been ignoring it all this time? What if I am actually really happy all by myself and the things I do everyday... What if all this strife is just a perceived reality and is really non-existent? What if I genuinely get happy vibes every time I go and tire myself out in the open playing some sport? What if my true happiness lies in the dance studio and at the sound of my Ghungroos? What if my real emotions act out only when I watch Pokemon and dream about having a companion like Pikachu? What if all I want to is study, play, dance and be with myself all day with bare minimum contact with other people?
What if this is exactly how I am? What if this is who I am?
I tell the other me to atleast give it a chance and try this version of reality atleast once. Some hesitation, but I agree with myself and I am ready now.. ready to give things another chance, but in my way.
People can't make a difference in my life if they barely exist for me. People can't hurt me if I don't let them.
So I take the step, and drink the tonic. The tonic of who I am and who I want to be.
It's time I get HIGH ON LIFE.
Many of us will say no in front of other people but deep down, in our hearts we know it is true and that there have been countless events when we have lied about being happy when we've been dying inside or pretended to be sad when nothing really happened... Or other emotions masked by a layer of artificial ones.
I'd say these are our coping mechanisms when we want to avoid unwanted communication. And believe me, there are times when you just want to be with nobody but yourself for days.
So how is this different from when we are under the influence of alcohol. I smile, laugh and dance like there's no tomorrow whenever i'm even a tiny bit tipsy because alcohol takes me to a better place. Where all my problems seem little and there is nothing more important than 'me'.
It's a place where everything is like a dream - a perfect dream of a perfect life.
It's not like we can be under the influence of alcohol 24*7 and I wouldn't even want to be... So now that I wonder, why can't I simulate such thoughts in their originality when I am completely sober and in all my senses.
Another part of me tells me it's not right to believe in things that are not true. But then what if this is the truth and I have been ignoring it all this time? What if I am actually really happy all by myself and the things I do everyday... What if all this strife is just a perceived reality and is really non-existent? What if I genuinely get happy vibes every time I go and tire myself out in the open playing some sport? What if my true happiness lies in the dance studio and at the sound of my Ghungroos? What if my real emotions act out only when I watch Pokemon and dream about having a companion like Pikachu? What if all I want to is study, play, dance and be with myself all day with bare minimum contact with other people?
What if this is exactly how I am? What if this is who I am?
I tell the other me to atleast give it a chance and try this version of reality atleast once. Some hesitation, but I agree with myself and I am ready now.. ready to give things another chance, but in my way.
People can't make a difference in my life if they barely exist for me. People can't hurt me if I don't let them.
So I take the step, and drink the tonic. The tonic of who I am and who I want to be.
It's time I get HIGH ON LIFE.
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